Article from the Guardian : "Money Diaries: meet the editor of the viral series laying bare our finances "
Money Diaries: meet the editor of the viral series laying bare our finances
Lindsey Stanberry, editor of Refinery29’s Money Diaries – a viral
series in which contributors lay bare their expenses – explains why
we’re so fascinated with peering into each other’s finances
The article, published in July, was part of Refinery29’s Money Diaries series, in which an anonymous (and usually millennial) contributor lays bare their finances, detailing everything they spend in the course of a week. Launched in January 2016, the series, which tracks the spending lives of the broke, the loaded and everyone in between, has become something of a modern phenomenon. Indeed, such is its popularity that a book based on the series is coming out today.
I sat down with Refinery29’s Lindsey Stanberry, editor of Money Diaries and author of the forthcoming book, to talk about why millennials are so fascinated with peering into each other’s finances.
No! Although we had started to see a pattern of women being interested in these kinds of financial narratives. In 2014, I wrote a piece about how my husband and I saved $100,000 to buy an apartment in New York City, which generated a lot of interest. Then an editor here, Jessica Chou, suggested Money Diaries. At first, I was like: “I don’t know. Women tracking their spending, it might not be that interesting, it might just be their grocery list.” But she gave me the first one, which was a young woman living in Brooklyn. She was almost comical in the way she was a millennial stereotype. She went to brunch and had avocado toast, and took too many Ubers, and was really unhappy at her job. And on day six she goes on a Tinder date, and does coke, and there’s a funny line about how she didn’t know what the cost of coke was because her date had paid. I knew as soon as I read that there was something more to [Money Diaries]. These women were not just giving us a list of their groceries; they were telling us about their lives.
The blurb for Money Diaries states that money “might be the last taboo facing working women”. Why is it still such a taboo subject?
I think part of the reason Money Diaries took off was for so long men have really dominated the narrative around money. And this is the first time that women get a chance to tell their financial stories so openly.
But I also think that men don’t really talk about money either, and maybe they’re the ones who’ve always made it so secretive, to their benefit, right? They make more than women and they’ve encouraged us not to talk about money. It’s only when we’ve recently started poking our heads up and realizing the guy next to us makes more, that it really brings to light why it’s important to talk about it.
There’s something quite political, at a time of increasing inequality, to being transparent about your finances, isn’t there? I’ve even seen some jokes on Twitter that Money Diaries almost functions as a catalyst of class warfare.
I definitely didn’t set out for this to be a tool of class warfare at all! However, when [July’s] Money Diary went viral, somebody wrote that this was a chance to really see the unfair advantages some people have. I mean, it makes a big difference if you don’t have student loan debt. If you have that extra $400 a month, your life is infinitely better. So I think that’s why Money Diaries might incite jealousy or feelings of class war.
People get very judgmental about Money Diaries. Are there certain spending habits that really seem to hit a nerve?
You never know what will make people upset. It still surprises me to this day. Earlier this year, there was a young woman in South Carolina who was the primary breadwinner for her family. They weren’t making much money; her husband couldn’t work because of immigration status issues. She ate a lot of fast food that week, and readers were really upset that she was eating so much fast food. It was heartbreaking on our end to watch commentators be so critical of this woman, who was clearly just struggling to make life work.
On the flip side, there was a diarist a couple of years ago who made six figures, and her husband made six figures, and she owned a horse. I thought for sure that the readers wouldn’t like her, because I can’t personally think of anything more privileged than owning a horse. And they loved her because she was nice to her pets.
What financial life lessons have you learned from editing Money Diaries?
At the very beginning of trying to get your finances in order it’s always good to do a money diary, even if you’re not gonna publish it on Refinery29. It is a great exercise in mindfulness. It helps you slow down and think, do you really need this thing? I say in the book that I will never tell you not to buy a latte, but I will tell you to think about how much that latte costs and how much that impacts your overall spending. I’ve actually curbed my latte habit since writing the book, because I think about how much five dollars really is.
Do women write better Money Diaries than men?
So much better. Maybe we’re better storytellers? Because the diaries cover so much more than just transactional moments, right? It’s like a window into your life. A lot of the men that we’ve had do diaries write stuff like: “Noon, lunch, $12.” And it’s like, but I want to know what you ate for lunch and who you ate lunch with!
What are some of your favorite Money Diary moments?
Maybe my all-time favorite – she’s a favorite with our readers, too – is the woman in LA who, with her partner, has a combined income of over a million. She’s completely self-made, and struggles with how to have this wealth and support her family without feeling like she’s being taken advantage of. I think she’s one of those people who doesn’t have anyone else to talk to about her finances and has found comfort in sharing her story with us.
What makes a good Money Diary?
You have to divulge some personal details, but not too much. Share if you fight with your partner, or if you’re negotiating for a raise at work. Those details are really important. But truly, I mean, after having published 500 Money Diaries, with few exceptions I couldn’t tell you which ones were going to be popular.
But that story with the marketing intern, you must have known that was going to go viral?
No. I had no idea. But it was actually a really good diary. She revealed that she had that extra income, which a lot of people don’t. We’ve run diaries from women who claim they’re making $40,000 and they don’t really explain how they fund their lifestyle because they don’t share that they’re getting additional income from family. So I appreciated that she was so open. Could she have been more self-aware? Yeah, but she was 21. It was a lot to ask of someone who is so young.
Did you follow up with the viral Money Diaries writer?
Oh yeah.
Was she pleased that it went viral?
No. She was upset. I mean, I would have been upset. And people here were upset. We’re really protective of our money diarists, they give a lot to us when they give us a diary. I make sure whenever there’s anyone who feels uncomfortable about a diary after it goes out that we check in on them and make sure it’s OK. As I reminded her, it’s anonymous at least.
What insights about people’s spending habits have you learned from editing Money Diaries?
I find it fascinating how couples split up their finances. It seems women are keeping their finances more separate from their partners. You’ll see husbands and wives Venmo-ing each for other things. Back in the day, like my parents’ generation, when you got married there was one pool of money and that was it. It’s not like that at all now. And it seems Venmo in general has created a real culture of nobody goes to grab the bill any more.
We also see trends that pop up from time to time. They’ll all use the same skincare line for a while. Everyone was eating cara cara oranges for a bit, and we thought that was really funny.
Cara what?
They’re just oranges, but they were very specific about saying that they were cara cara oranges.
Are there any common mistakes that you see people make when it comes to money?
A lot of people still fall for having a bank account with a checking fee. You shouldn’t ever be charged to have a checking account. Not investing in your 401k, especially if your company matches, can be a big mistake. The emergency fund is also so important, and people don’t want to have it because it’s not sexy. Although Paulette Perhach came up with the idea of the “fuck-off fund” a couple of years ago. I think that was a great rebranding of it.
Could you give us a glimpse into your own money diary?
What have I spent this week? I have not had any zero-dollar days, that’s for sure … yesterday I bought a coffee with a friend. And then I took someone out for lunch which I rarely ever do. I spent $40 on lunch which was a little indulgent. I got the coffee at Starbucks. Like a true Money Diarist, I drink so much Starbucks.
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